Break it down!

On March 27, in my longer practice period of the Workbook of A Course in Miracles (Complete and Annotated version), I got guidance of what my theme is for today to work with, which also has to do with my resistance in hearing guidance. My theme is APPROVAL.  I literally hit a wall in me when I ask for guidance in the day to day things, even after one month of working to really create the habit of asking*. It is still bouncing back often against that wall in me. It is a wall full of negative emotions and feelings. It hurts deeply. And in my attempt to start and break down that wall I will look at that theme of approval. Where do I search for approval in the world and how frantically do I do that? I want to harmonize my world and control it in that way, my idols are the approval of others, so that I know that I have worth. But….my worth is established by God. My idea of “safety” is that brick wall I have built to protect myself. Will I break it down, so I can really hand over control more and more?

To help me along the way, the Holy Spirit directed me to a song by my all time favorite band Tears for Fears who hit it right on the nail here with their pop/rock single (from 1993) “Break it down again”. Below I give you the lyrics. It is unbelievable what striking images Roland Orzabal “paints” here with his lyrics (as he so often does). So vivid, and exactly the world as we see it through the ego’s eyes. It is so striking how some sentences exactly coincide with how I am feeling. But also how I want to let go. 

The lyrics also address according to, me how I and all of us, search for love everywhere it cannot be found. I have to go inside, not outside, I do not have to hide from the light. I can make all kinds of plans, but do they work? And I have indeed been sitting on that time bomb, like it says in the song! And does the wall that I built up, really work for me? No, it does not!  I have to BREAK IT DOWN, it is time, I want to let it go and give over my control ! And like this great song says: "Break it down again, no more sleepy dreaming, no more building up, it is time to dissolve". (see under the video the striking lyrics of the song!)

Break it down again
So those are my dreams
And these are my eyes
Stand tall like a man
Headstrong like a horse
When it's all mixed up
Better break it down
In the world of secrets
In the world of sound

It's in the way you're always hiding from the light
See for yourself, you have been sitting on a time bomb
No revolution maybe someone somewhere else
Could show you something new about you and your inner song

And all the love, and all the love in the world
Won't stop the rain from falling
Waste sleeping underground, I want to break it down 

Break it down again
So those are my schemes
And these are my plans
Hot tips for the boys
Fresh news from the force
"No sleep for the dreaming" say the architects of life
Big bouncing babies, bread and butter can I have a slice?
They make no mention of the beauty of decay
Blue, yellow, pink umbrella, save it for a rainy day
And all the love, and all the love in the world

Horsing around
Pray to the power
Play to the crowd with your big hit sound
And they won't simmer down

It's in the way you're always hiding from the light
Last off to heaven just like Moses on a motorbike
No revolution maybe someone else somewhere else
Could show you something new to help with the ups and downs
Break it down again

No more sleepy dreaming
No more building up
It is time to dissolve

Listen to the song on Spotify:

* In the month of March 2023, I and people who where participants of the workshop "Three Habits for a New Future" of Circle of Atonement worked hard to create the habit of asking for guidance. The Course wants us to form this habit until it becomes totally natural. You are supposed to ask for guidance for big decisions, small decisions, problems and in meditation time. This way we are guided in our lives because the Holy Spirit has an overview in every situation and only one goal, to bring us home to God. Our own decisions have a very narrow and often the wrong idea of what is best for us and everyone. The Holy Spirit takes everything and everybody into account. Hearing guidance is therefor an important habit to form! On the online platform, -the community of the Circle of Atonement- you can find this workshop.

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